A little humor

Another member of our message board told me about the “You might be a Nigerian scammer” list on EbolaMonkey.com, and I wanted to share parts of it with you.

You might be a Nigerian Scammer if . . .

YOU WRITE IN ALL CAPS.

You refuse to use spell check and think that Courier is the only font in the world.

You hate Americans.

You confuse American last names with first name. Ex. Smith Adam or Williams Brian

When someone asks you for a picture, you look for the nearest magazine. (or modeling website)

You always put DR. in front of your name, no matter what the situation. Even if you are not a doctor.

You become extremely angry when you catch someone lying, even though everthing about you and what you are doing is a lie.

You have trouble keeping your lies straight.

You introduce yourself as a Prince or a King.

Your father or husband was a Nigerian General.

The new President of Nigeria is seeking vengence on your family because your father or husband confirmed a life prison sentence on him when he was in charge.

People around you tend to get assassinated, poisoned, or killed in a plane crash.

You write in the most contrived, archaic, and atrocious English.

You try to capitalize off human misery (e.g. mutilations in Sierra Leone, the September 11th attacks)

You have $25-$100 million dollars just laying aroundatrocity

You address everyone as “friend” or “dear”

Everything is “confidential.”

You are a prestigious International Banker and you have a Yahoo or Hotmail email address. Even if you are trying to be secretive, the best you can come up with is a yahoo email address because you aren’t smart enough to log into register.com and register a fake domain name.

You are an ex-general who got converted to Christianity and now wants to make amends to God by sending a stranger the $ 25 million you stole from your country.

You are the wife of the deceased state employee whose husband stole all this $11, 000,000. but got converted to Christianity before his death and wants you to “invest it all in Christian work in the US to make amends for his sins against God.”.

A contract was over invoiced/overcharged by $25 million and the money is now “floating” in a suspense account at the Central Bank of Nigeria under your sole control.

You have resolved to share 35% of your fortune with a complete stranger for taking absolutely no risk whatsoever.

You are The Chairman in charge of Minting and Printing at Central Bank of Nigeria and you control the Nigeria Remittance Office. Not only can you supply any document needed to prove these funds exist, you can also print any document needed to authorise release of the funds to a complete stranger.

All you require to make someone rich is YOUR NAME, COMPANY`S NAME, ADDRESS , TELEFAX NUMBER. YOUR BANK NAME ,ADDRESS, TELEFAX NUMBER. YOUR BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER AND BENEFICIARY NAME.

You are a high official at Nigerian Petroleum holding on to millions in over-billings.

You have a motorcycle for sale on EBAY for an extremely low price and your will to ship it for free for a small deposit of $2000.

By some strange coincidence You and your trusted barrister and/or other associate always read and write your emails mere minutes apart on the same computer.

You are a destitute political refugee living in a camp on the boarder of some country, but you still manage the daily trip to a cyber cafe in Logos, Nigeria in order to check your email.

When you get caught trying to scam someone, you use the “I’m doing this because the white man robbed me and made us Africans slaves” excuse. Even though you have no idea of the ethnicity of the person you are robbing, disregarding the possibility that you could be stealing from someone who has African ancestry.

You pose for a photo with a loaf of bread on your head

-dont know what these mean:
Ivannastiff Kockupmianus
Iama Dildo
Bendme Overand Dome
I Love Juanking
Will U Phystme
Iblowdudes
Anita Cox
Humpin Bois
Butt-Plugg

You “monitor” emails rather than read them.

Need money urgently so your child can have an vital operation tomorrow, for weeks.

Work for a African bank and can rip them off with just a USA bank account and $200.

Ask a stranger to help you secretly rip off a bank etc.

————–

419 scams

I recently gave a presentation at a local high school, and when I was going over a list of different scams and said that 419 scams are the ones that most people think of when they hear the word “scam” the students looked at me and most of them did not know what I was talking about. I guess since I have gotten so deep into the world of scams I just assume that everyone knows about 419 scams. I guess that this is just more proof that we need Scam Education and Awareness Programs in our schools and communities to teach people about these scams.

What is a 419 Scam?

To break it down to the basics. these are the letters and email that claim to be from a Prince or Dignatary from another country who has a large amount of money that they need to get out of the country, and if you would be kind enough to help them they will share a portion of the money with you.  Another variation of the 419 scam claims that you have a relative that died and left you a large amount of money.  In either case, they will ask you to send them some money for “legal fees” to transfer the money.

The scammer may even tell you that they are dying or that there is some other urgent reason that they need to complete this transaction.  These are all just lies to pull at your heart and cause you to make rushed choices.

Here is an example of a 419 Scam email

DEARLY BELOVED

RE: PLEASE ENDEAVOUR TO USE IT FOR THE CHILDREN OF GOD.

Reply email to my private email:mommylinda@live.com or mrslindakunte01@gmail.com

Dearly Beloved,

ln my quest to locate a genuine God fearing person, a good friend and a partner to bring my dreams to a reality, l have decided to take the bold step to contact you via this medium, l would not like you to pick offence, that l am bothering you, since you do not have the slightest knowledge about me neither have we ever met.

I am MRS. LINDA KUNTE from Kuwait . I was married to DR HARRY KUNTE who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for nine years, before he died in the year 2002. we were both married for thirty two years and we were blessed with an adopted male child, who is twenty five years old now.. My husband died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.

Before his death we were both involved in charity services. Since his death I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which is against my principle. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $11.8 million eleven million eight hundred thousand u.s.dollars with a bank in Europe . Presently, this money is still with the bank in Europe for safekeeping.

Recently, my doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months due to my cancer problem..Though what disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition of health I have decided to donate this fund to charity, orphanage home or an individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein.

I want an individual that will use these funds to fund charity, orphanages and widows and to ensure that these set of people are well maintained. The bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that griveth. I took this decision because out of the vision God almighty gave to me and for my love for humanity and the less privilege people in the society, our only adopted son and my husband’s relatives are well off and I don’t want my husband’s hard earned money to be misused by them.

As I do not want a situation whereby this money will be used in an ungodly manner. Hence the reasons for taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death because l have lived a fulfilled life. As it is right now, I don’t need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health and also due to the presence of my husband’s relatives around me always. I don’t want them to know about this development. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the bank in the Europe .

I will also issue you a letter of authority that will prove you as the original-beneficiary of this funds. I want you to see to the need of the less privileged. My happiness is that I lived a fulfilled life and l don�t have any regrets in life . Please note that any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing for another individual as I stated herein.

For now I don�t want any calls from you because of the presence of my husband’s relatives who are always around me and I don�t want them to know my plans. Do get in touch with me on my private email address mommylinda@live.com or mrslindakunte01@gmail.com for more details to proceed.

Hoping to hear from you soonest and do notify your interest to help me assist charity.May the peace and blessing of God be upon you and May God bless you as you respond to my plea.

Remain blessed.

Best Regards,
MRS. LINDA KUNTE

Scam mentioned in popular television show

Does anyone watch the show Medium, about Allison DuBois who works for the DA’s office and can see and hear people who have died and can pick up on things? Allison DuBois is a real person, and her gift has helped to solve many cases.

On the show this week her daughter Bridgette who also has this gift, runs into a man in the library using the computer every day. He is dressed as an African prince, or at least that is the way that he appears to the girl. She sees the name that he uses on an email account, and when her older sister is later complaining about the spam emails and mentions the same name Bridgette tells the family that she knows this guy and that he comes to the library all of the time. They family tried to tell Bridgette that it is a scam, and that he is just pretending to be a Prince with a lot of money and that in his emails he asks you to give him some money to help him get his money out of the bank that it is in.

(sorry . . . you have to watch the short ad in order to see the clip)

http://www.cbs.com/primetime/medium/video/?pid=PZ0y0OFCCF2PbXcIi99LXoQH_TH8ELKv&play=true&vs=Default

So, the next day Bridgette sees this guy at the library again and gives him all of the money she has (about $30 I think . . . remember, this is a girl in grade school) and she says he can take it to help him get his money and then he just has to pay her back when he does get her money.

http://www.cbs.com/primetime/medium/video/?pid=Q1RsJ3iRt54UApw_UgIwdgqydbwTMibS&play=true&vs=Clips

The man later returns to the library to give Bridgette her money back saying that he cannot take money from a little girl, and that he had only been doing this type of thing for a few weeks. Don’t we all wish that THIS part happened in real life!

I do think it is great that they are getting the word about the Nigerian scams out into the popular television shows. This one episode could have helped to educate a lot of people that this is a scam.

http://www.tv.com/medium/dear-dad-…/episode/1317709/summary.html?tag=ep_guide;summary

Social Networking Friend Scam

This is from a Press Release from the FBI today

No, Your Social Networking “Friend” Isn’t Really in Trouble Overseas

According to the Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3), there has been an increase in the number of hijacked social networking accounts reported to http://www.ic3.gov.

One of the more popular scams involves online criminals planting malicious software and code onto to victim computers. It starts by someone opening a spam e-mail, sometimes from another hijacked friend’s account.

When opened, the spam allows the cyber intruders to steal passwords for any account on the computer, including social networking sites. The thieves then change the user’s passwords and eventually send out distress messages claiming they are in some sort of legal or medical peril and requesting money from their social networking contacts.

So far, nearly 3,200 cases of account hijackings have been reported to the IC3 since 2006.

Cyber thieves are also using spam to promote phishing sites, claiming a violation of the terms of service agreement or creating some other issue which needs to be resolved. Other spam entices users to download an application or view a video. Some of these messages appear to be sent from friends, giving the perception of legitimacy. Once the user responds to a phishing site, downloads an application, or clicks on a video link, the electronic device they’re using becomes infected.

Some applications advertised on social networking sites appear legitimate but install malicious code or rogue anti-virus software. These empty applications can give cyber criminals access to your profile and personal information. These programs will automatically send messages to your contacts, instructing them to download the new application too.

Infected users are often unknowingly spreading malware by having links to infected websites posted on their webpage without the user’s knowledge. Since the e-mail or video link appear to be endorsed by a friend, social networking contacts are more likely to click on these links.

Although social networking sites are generally a safe place to interact with friends and acquaintances, keep in mind these suggestions to protect yourself while navigating the Internet:

Adjust website privacy settings. Some networking sites have provided useful options to assist in adjusting settings to help protect your identity.
Be selective when adding friends. Once added, contacts can access any information marked as viewable by all friends.
Limit access to your profile to only those contacts you trust with your personal information.
Disable options, such as photo sharing, that you might not regularly use. You can always enable these options later.
Be careful what you click on. Just because someone posts a link or video to their wall does not mean it is safe.
Familiarize yourself with the security and privacy settings and learn how to report a compromised account.
Each social networking site may have different procedures on how to handle a hijacked or infected account; therefore, you may want to reference their help or FAQ page for instructions.
If your account has been hijacked or infected, report it to by visiting www.ic3.gov or www.lookstoogoodtobetrue.com.

The Internet Crime Complaint Center is a partnership between the FBI and National White Collar Crime Center (NW3C).

Mrs. Bernie Madoff

Well guess who I got an email from today . . . Mrs. Bernie Madoff! Okay, it was from a scammer pretending to be Mrs. Bernie Madoff. Does anyone else see the irony in the fact that someone who runs a scam fighting website got an email from a scammer pretending to be someone that operated the largest and most talked about Ponzi Scheme to date?

 Subject: My Great Compliments /Can I Trust You?

From: mrsruthmadoff03@googlemail.com

Reply To: mrsruthmadoff@hotmail.co.uk

Mrs. Ruth Madoff West, Liverpool, London. My Great Compliments, I’m Mrs. Ruth Madoff, 67, wife to Mr. Bernard L. Madoff, of Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC, who pleaded guilty to operating a multibillion-dollar Ponzi scheme, is worth up to $826 million, according to a document filed with a federal court on Friday 13th March 2009.

Just last 2Month my husband pleading stealing billions from investment from his clients and he was ordered to jail Thursday 12th March 2009, after pleading guilty to all 11 criminal counts in one of Wall Street’s biggest swindles.

Now the Federal investigators in the USA are working around the clock to freeze all my assets, fearing that I’m trying to flee the country which I have done shortly after my husband was sentenced, I have $93 million in my name beyond their reach.

The Securities and Exchange Commission is working with federal prosecutors in Manhattan to prepare a filing asking a judge to formally freeze all of my assets as soon as possible.

My husband deposited the sum of (USD$25.000.000.00 Million) in a Finance Firm in Europe some years ago in my name, I need you to collect this funds and distribute it to both of us since the Federal investigators are working around the clock to freeze all my assets. Meanwhile all documents related to transfer of this fund to your account is with the bank

Presently, I’m in a hard out here in UK as the Federal investigators as well the Securities and Exchange Commission is looking for me to freeze my entire asset as well prosecute me like my husband.

Please reply back to me on this e-mail as I will like if you contact my bank directly so that he will direct you on the way forward. Please due send to me all your contact details as I will like to speak with you before we commence on the transaction. Please Keep this transaction secret and confidentail for now. You can read my story on this website: http://www.nypost.com/seven/03152009/news/regionalnews/ruth_in_crosshair_159631.htm

God bless you.

Best Regards,

Mrs. Ruth Madoff

Inheritance Scam

Here is an email that got past my spam filters.

Subject: I have been touched
From: schooluniforms@dickies.com

My name is Mrs Bernadette finchley,I have decided to donate what I have to you.
I was diagnosed of cancer for about Few years ago,immediately after the death of my husband.

I have been touched to donate from what I have inherited from my late husband to you for the good work of charity organisation,I decided to WILL/donate the sum of $12.8 million united states dollars to you to carry out my last wish on earth.

Contact my Physican Dr Steve Elliott with this specified email–
drsteveelliott101@gmail.com

I know i dont know you but I have been directed to do this.Thanks and God bless.

Regards,
Mrs Bernadette finchley.

More scam emails

Don’t you love it when Banks use gmail accounts

Subject: BANK TO BANK TRANSACTION FOR YOU
From: makanabenson5@gmail.com
Reply To: makanabenson55@gmail.com

I am Mr. Makana Benson A manager with one of the major
banks in South Africa.

I am in a position to Move a chunk of money  out of the vault
of my bank although legally. The money was owned by a
customer who died long ago and we couldn’t get
trace of anyone to claim his money, despite desperate
search for a next of kin.

The rules and ethics of our banking regulations demands
that, after 8yrs of unclaimed funds (money) the
money would be forfeited to the Bank and declared surplus
and paid into the states accounts.

Since I am the manager who is in charge of
this unclaimed money, I have perfected legaly  means of
making you stand as the next of kin to the late fellow
as a foreigner.

This is risk free as all legal backings are present and
would be detailed to you once I have gained your
trust and certainty that we can be friends and trust in
you. You would be handsomely rewarded with 30% of the
total sum.

I will disclose some vital information about the late owner
  0f the funds and how he died and the name
of my bank once I have gained your trust.  I expect your
utmost response to this email.

Please in your reply let me have your contact telephone
numbers so I can call you and explain more to you.

Makana Benson